35 and Single...Again

Imagine drafting up your letter of resignation and preparing to hand it in on Thursday only to be laid off with a nice severance package on Wednesday. That happened to me in 2015 days before relocating to Houston and something similar happened again here in 2024.

So, I went to DC for a much-needed vacation and had a time! DC is one of my favorite cities, so I go often, but this trip was different. On this trip, I lived my best rich auntie life! And when I was asked if I missed my now ex, my answer was, “Ehhh not really”. And that’s when the wheels started to turn.

This is no shade to him. He’s a good guy and I was prepared to do life with him but the relationship had become lackluster. All of the fun, joy, and excitement exited just as soon as it came. We quickly settled into a routine and unfortunately, that routine didn’t include living! So when my plane landed and I hopped into his truck I realized I had just spent 5 days LIVING MY LIFE and now I was back to only tapping into parts of me.

That’s when it hit me, “I don’t want this”.

I wanted more than what we had. I wanted more for me! So, I silently grieved the relationship. I grieved because I knew I needed to end it but I wasn’t confident in my decision. It’s easy to let go of "bad" things. You have an excuse or reason but culture would have us believe that “okay” should be okay so I questioned whether my feelings were valid. I called my friend, I prayed, and I battled internally. But the spirit of discontent was heavy!!!

And so, 72 hours after landing, I sent him a text telling him how great I think our foundation was and how it could work. Instead of telling him this wasn't enough, I doubled down on that thing haha! But the Holy Spirit said, "not on my watch!"

And this is when it happened. He told me he loved me as an individual but admitted something romantically was missing. At that moment, I realized this was my chance. I replied, “Of course you love me as a person, I’m amazing lol but at this point, there’s no point in moving forward.”

At that moment, the weight of everything I’d been holding on to lifted. I felt lighter. I felt closer to myself. I felt at peace. I could finally lean into the life I had dreamt of. I could finally get back to me!

And it was at that moment that saying, “I’m 35 and single” came with undertones of joy!

Don’t settle for just good! Exceedingly and Abundantly only! God called and proclaimed a lot over us but it never gave mediocre! #createthelifeyouwant #Romans8:28

Stay tuned. I’m going to bring you along as I get back to me and #createthelifeofmydreams

P.S. Don't ever let me settle for anything other than moments like this!