The Gift of Grief

When I did this photoshoot a few years back to commemorate my birthday, I remember seeing this stairwell and being in awe. Something about the aerial visual sucked me in. The beauty, the depth, the detail...

So, on the uncomfortable stairs, I lay. I wanted to capture what captured me- with a full bladder and tired feet, I looked up, posed, and we kept going.

This picture is now an honest description of my life lately. Uncomfortable yet maintaining my composure because "the show must go on". In awe of life's disappointments while simultaneously being grateful.

Grief has given me a gift. It's brought me back to center. When I am reminded of my loss I silently utter, "He's really gone!" and I'm jolted back to reality.

Grief has given me a gift. It's given me clarity. It's teaching me who I am at my core.

Grief has given me a gift. It has released me. It released me from arbitrary deadlines, unimportant nuances, and the pressure to do or be anything other than what God says.

Though I grieve, I'm grateful. Though I mourn, I'm grateful. Though I hurt, I'm grateful.

This wasn't the vibe I was going for when I first opened my laptop to write. BUT these are real thoughts, from a real person, in real time.

Grief has made me revisit my story AND decide who I want to be AFTER this experience. Don't worry, it's up! Stay Tuned!